5 Essential Tips for Cross Country Drives

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. We were walking to get coffee from a local cafe and trying to decide whether we wanted to spend $5,000 on a down payment on a car - or a deposit on an apartment in Miami, where putting down ‘first, last, and deposit’ to move into an apartment is the norm. 

You can probably guess which one we chose. 

So a few days later, we pulled out of the dealership with our new-to-us car (which we still have, over two years later) and started to plan our journey. We were going to go to Los Angeles by way of Virginia to see some of Chara’s friends on the west coast and get an idea if that could be the place that we would settle down in. At the time, neither of us had ever driven anything even close to that far in one go, but we felt confident that between us we could manage it. After all, it was only about 3,500 miles in all, how hard could it be? (Side note: each time it ended up being WAY more than that because we decided to add in stops like Niagra Falls and Chicago which are clearly not en route from Miami to Los Angeles.) 

Our first journey:

We ended up making some version of our cross country trip three times in the end, each time going a slightly different route and going about things in a slightly different way. The one thing that they all had in common aside from being a very long drive? They gave us a once (thrice) in a lifetime opportunity to see so many of the different sides of the US from our own eyes. 

Over those three journeys, in addition to collecting memories and experiences that we’ll remember forever, we also learned a few things that we think could be valuable for you - especially if you’re planning a significant road trip that spans over several days. One day I’ll tell the story of why exactly it took us three trips to settle down in California (and why we chose here over Florida), but today we’ll keep it on topic. 

> > Invest ahead in your peace of mind 

When you’re driving through somewhere in Utah (according to the GPS on your car), neither of you have cell phone service, and you haven’t seen another car in an hour, you don’t want to be wondering how your car’s tires are holding up or when you last changed the oil. 

So, invest in your car: replace your tires (if you need to), and spend the time and the money to get your car maintained properly. It’s also worth investing in a service like AAA and a package that includes unlimited towing miles. I ended up needing this on a different journey many years previously and it saved me probably several hundred dollars in towing fees, not to mention knowing that I had access to basically a *free* tow truck in my pocket.

> > Don’t try and pre-book your hotels (unless there’s no cancellation fee)

OK hear me out. I am a planner at heart and the first time we did this drive, I spent an afternoon drawing out maps and mileage so that we could stop at predetermined locations to give us optimal rest and pricing. We ended up cancelling basically all of them. 

When you’re taking the time to do a cross country roadtrip, it’s important to keep some of the spontaneity that comes along with it. That and it’s harder than you might think to stay on schedule when you have no control over things like traffic and weather, which can totally upend any planned stops. If you’re anything like I am, you want to choose and book your hotels so you a) don’t have to think about it on the road and b) know what the price is so that you can plan for the rest of the stops, this may feel counterintuitive. But it’s for the best.

We tried Hotwire a few times (it was OK, but wouldn’t recommend overall -- too unpredictable). We tried Expedia and just going straight through Google. But in the end we found HotelTonight and that probably saved us many hours and a few hundred dollars over the course of our journey. I use them for almost all of our hotel booking now, which is partially because I’ve given up on trying to book hotels in advance, and partially because we found some really cool hotels for great rates along the way. 

{PS: use code - FRALING to get 20% off your 1st booking 😎}

> > Buy your food from grocery stores 

As convenient as it is to buy chips, snacks, and bottles of water from the gas station, it’s just inflating your waist and deflating your bank account. So just don’t do it (if you can avoid it). Instead, take the extra time on your journey to buy fresh foods that you enjoy. Not that it isn’t fun to get some french fries or a donut as part of your road trip adventure.

We started doing this on our most recent trip and it seriously leveled up the entire experience. When you have fresh fruits, higher quality prepared foods, and a better selection of snacks, you make better choices. And considering that your daily physical activity has likely gotten pretty low as part of your journey, not supplementing inactivity with extra calories is definitely the better choice. Not to mention that it saves you a whole bunch of $$ over the entirety of the drive. Another bonus? It gives you a chance to check out the local life and get some much needed exercise (kinda). 

> > Diversify your entertainment options

Having Sirius radio was a lifesaver for us personally. This is for a few key reasons:

• No commercials

• It works across states and where there’s no phone signal or radio outside of static and country 

• It takes away the pressure of having to be the DJ

• You can easily pass an hour just clicking through the channels 

This in conjunction with YouTube Music, Spotify, Podcasts, audio books, and occasionally talking to each other does the trick. If you’re sitting shotgun you also get to spend some time looking for grocery stores and hotels, so there’s that as well. 

>> Remember to enjoy the journey

It’s not all that often that someone embarks on a drive across the USA, so while it’s important to move with a purpose, it’s also important to enjoy the ride. You’ll see parts of the country you wouldn’t normally travel to. Plus many hours of one-on-one time with your copilot (who is hopefully someone you love).

So, take those extra few minutes' journey to the local grocery store. Or stop at one of those wacky roadside attractions to get a giant peach or 40 fireworks or whatever else they have available. And don’t forget to appreciate it. There’s not many places in the world where you can drive for days in a straight line and remain in the same country. 

Here’s the drone footage from one of ours:

So there you have it - some of the things I wish I had known before going on my first cross country road trip. One final tip? Be sure to go easy on yourselves. It’s a long drive and it can be mentally exhausting to keep yourself ‘on’ constantly. So give yourself and your road trip partner a break. And a snack. :) 

Got more tips? I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments below. 

How to Work Remote (When it Feels Impossible to Focus)

When I was a kid, my mom had her office set up in the basement of our house. I remember when she first began - when a dial up 56K internet connect was blazing fast and all of the productivity tools that we seemingly can’t live without, were probably barely even a thought.

At the time, even though she must have told me a million times (bless her), I would still insist on coming downstairs whenever I had a thought or a question. She used to tell me “pretend I’m at the office!” aaaand, let’s just say I basically ignored her. And remember, this is in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, so the whole ‘telecommuting’ thing wasn’t anywhere near the norm like we have today. 

As someone who now works from home myself, I look back on those days and I am impressed with her resourcefulness (and patience). Work days defined by a painfully slow (but fast at the time) internet connection paired with a hyperactive 10 year old who needed ALL OF THE ATTENTION must have been insanity-inducing. But here we are. She’s still working from home primarily and so am I. And I have been on and off since about 2012 or so. And over that time, I’ve tried planners, productivity tools, and a whole range of tips and tricks to ensure that things get done on time. I’ve also had the good fortune of learning to do so while also traveling, moving, and otherwise dealing with opportunities disguised as distractions. 

So if the last few weeks (OK, all of 2020) has been testing your ability to stay focused when you’re working from home, I hear you. And though there’s not much that I can do to help with the source of the insanity that is 2020, I can help you to ride the wave a bit more easily. 

And with that being said, here are few of my top tips for effective remote work (when all you want to do is curl up under a blanket) that cover everything from mindset to practical daily tips for becoming your most productive self. 

1 >> 

Breathe better.

This one is interactive. Take a deep breath and pay attention to it. Put your hands on the back of your ribs and lungs, right at the bottom of your rib cage and breathe in. Feel where your hands  are on the back of your ribs, and try to fill them up, rather than just breathing deep in the ‘front’ of your lungs. 

Seriously. Next time you’re stressed and it’s time to take deep breaths, really pay attention to how you’re filling your lungs. 

2 >>

Focus on the things you can control in your environment.

So you went from a corner office to a shared desk. Or perhaps you’ve always worked from home, but now you’ve also got a pet or a husband by your side. The reality is that you cannot control your spouse’s schedule any more than you can control what’s going on outside your window. But you can control:

1. How you react to both of these things (and others)

2. And how you use that reaction 

So if you find yourself getting frustrated and distracted by noises, the news, or anything else that is begging to pull your attention away from your work, start by recognizing that these things are outside of your control. And instead start thinking about the things you do have influence over.

What are a few ways to influence your environment?

• Invest in good noise cancelling headphones

• Go to another room 

• Create a system with your spouse or roommate to help make managing your schedules and work lives easier 

• Breathing exercises (hello, point #1) 

• Changing the temperature via central air or by curling up with your favorite blanket

• Leave it and come back (can’t miss something if you never leave, right?)

And you’ll be back to work before you know it!

3 >> 

Remember what you are working for.

There’s an old saying:

If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.

Harsh? Maybe. But it can also be an effective reminder if all you need is just a little tough love (we’ve all been there).

The point being here that sometimes it’s only a matter of remembering your why. And if you’re not sure what your why is? It’s time to start thinking about it. Because the ‘why’ is what’ll keep you going when the days get long and hard. 

And it doesn’t have to be complicated -- your why can be as straightforward as your significant other, as grand as becoming a billionaire, or as essential and simple as remembering to be happy. Write it on your mirror, your hand, even your forehead if you need to, but keep it in your mind and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

4 >>

Write. It. Down.

Simple yet true, sometimes we ALL need a little reminder. The best part about this is that since you are working from home, you can use all manner of creative methods to carry this out.

For example, why not dedicate an entire wall of your home to sticky notes containing tasks that you can categorize into: ‘need to do’, ‘blocked’, and ‘done’. If you juggle multiple devices and projects this can be a great physical way to track your progress.

One thing that I like to do is start with a blank piece of paper for each new day. Write down the items that are most important to you to finish that day, plus any other notes or meetings that you’ve got during the day. 

As new items come up, write them down on the back of that same piece of paper, with the date that it is due next to it. This way you can transfer any new and somewhat urgent tasks to the next day when you’re planning (more on this in point #7) so that things don’t get lost.

You may even find it helpful to upload your tasks to a project management software like Asana or even to your ‘to do’ list in Gmail. 

5 >> 

Set a morning routine.

I’ve tried it both ways. Getting up whenever I like and seeing where the morning takes me, and also being in a consistent routine that requires me to be up at a certain time and completing certain activities. As much as I’d really love to say that it worked just as well to be very casual in my plans, the reality is that in order for me to be productive, I have to have a morning routine that puts me on the right track from the start. 

So what this means for me is that every morning I get up, practice gratitude, have a glass of water and go for a run. I’ll take a shower, have a coffee, and be ready to work at my desk at 7:30AM, with a small snack around 9 usually. These simple, but effective patterns give me a boost of positivity and endorphins first thing, which I believe is the best place to work from.

Keep the unplanned time for when you want to remain unplanned. It also gives a nice contrast to have time unaccounted for when it usually is during your working hours. 

6 >> 

Give yourself the “choice”.

OK here’s a random trick that I picked up from the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast which has served me well. Have you ever been trying to find the motivation to work and somehow the time seems to just slip away? The work somehow always gets done, but it’s never in the steady and linear path that you hope for. It’s easy to just do something else if you don’t have external factors forcing you and you DO have endless distractions like laundry, or groceries, or cleaning, or your old email that you’ve been meaning to go through…. (all of which ARE valuable uses of your time, they’re just not the best valuable use of your time)

So what’s the trick? When you come to something in your daily activities that you don’t want to do, give yourself the choice between doing that item or doing absolutely nothing at all. So let’s say you need to do your taxes, but you don’t want to, and you also know you need to do some laundry. You do not get the luxury of doing the laundry here, as an activity ‘instead’ of your taxes, you get to do nothing. Because those are your choice: nothing or the task. And by giving yourself a bit of choice (and a bit of time wasted if not), you get to make an active decision in the direction of your goals. 

As for the ‘do nothing’ part? If you’re anything like me, the idea of sitting still and doing nothing, knowing how many things there are to do (work and recreation related), that I’d rather just use the time to accomplish what needs to be done. The time is going to pass anyways, right? 

7 >>

Plan your day and your week around your most important goals. 

There are low value items that you can spend your time on and there are high value items. I don’t have to tell you which ones are which because I am sure that deep down you do know which items are going to move the needle forward and which items are just procrastination in different clothing. 

By remembering those major landmarks at the end of the tunnel, but focusing on the incremental steps necessary to arrive there, you can help to be sure the time you do spend on something, is time well spent. Start by defining your three biggest goals for the week and then further define the steps you are going to take every day in order to achieve those bigger weekly goals. 

8 >>

Have a little compassion for yourself.

Really. It’s OK to not be your best self - regardless of whether you’ve been working from home since before it was cool, or have just made the transition over the last few months. Everyone metabolizes stress differently, so don’t feel bad if you have to take a step back and give yourself a break. It is OK to feel sad. It is OK to feel unmotivated. But it is also important that we do our best to keep moving forward. 

So be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and if you just need some time to recharge; rather than forcing productivity. You are not a machine! 

We spend an increasing amount of our time in a digital bubble. More hours of both work and fun are transitioning to an environment defined by distance (and our ability to ‘overcome’ it). Add in a global pandemic and nationwide protests {at the time of this writing} and it’s no surprise that the change has taken its toll on us. Though I personally believe that the benefits of remote work largely outweigh the drawbacks, it’s not to say it doesn’t take some time to adjust to a new ‘normal’. So if you’re out there struggling with finding your flow in these weird days we have, take a breath. And write it down. Remember what you’re grateful for and move forward. 

Need more tips? Want to chat about this or life in LA? Drop me an email at: hello (at) fjcelik.com. Talk to you soon! 

New Starts in Los Angeles

Earlier today I realized that this might be one of my last chances to write from San Diego - and since I’ve been REALLY bad about it in 2020 so far, this is my chance to redeem myself and at least get back on track for the 2nd part of the year.

In any case, 2020 for me has gone quite differently than I expected at the beginning of the year. I imagine, if you are a human (and not a bot), that you can probably relate. Since my last post I’ve taken a new job and at the time of this writing, made plans to move to Los Angeles. Definitely not where I was expecting to be 6 months into the year. But life has a way of giving you what you need, so I’m excited for the opportunity to try something new. 

For one part of my ‘trying something new’ efforts, I’ve also decided to explore something that has always been interesting to me: writing children’s books. This is particularly exciting for me because it is something that is so entirely different from my professional experience thus far that I’m not really sure what to expect at all. To do so, I’m dipping my toe in by taking a course on Udemy called: Writing for Children. I plan to take notes along the way, so maybe I’ll use those as my basis for content until I get going with the books themselves. :) 

I’ve had a few plotlines that have been bouncing around my mind for quite a while now, but I was never able to take them and turn them into a tangible concept. I’m hoping that with this course I can add some structure where there currently is none. If nothing else, I figure it will be a fun way to be creative in a totally new way. And who knows, maybe I’ll really enjoy it.

Another major part of moving and starting this course is that it gives me an opportunity to expand my copywriting while in Los Angeles. You might say “well, you can write from anywhere if you’ve got a laptop” - and yes, while this is absolutely true, and something that has carried me from place to place, I do believe our environments can seriously impact our outputs (and of course the overall quality of our lives). So, all of this to say, that I’m hoping that our new home will give me the mental refresh I’ve been searching for; along with the bravery necessary to do what is needed. 

So, since if it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist, here are my goals for the move to Los Angeles.

1. Reach all of my goals professionally in my current professional role.

2. Help Chara to develop his Part 107 tutorial for drone pilots

3. Finish my children’s book course

4. Write my first children’s book

The good news? There’s never been a better time to build our futures from the time and skills that are available to us today. And I’ve never felt like there’s been a better time for it. 

It's Pretzel Day

“Huete ist Brezeltag”

And that’s 90% of what I remember from three years of German in high school. It translates to: “today is pretzel day” and reminds me that #1) you can never predict completely what you’ll remember and #2) your first experience trying something isn’t indicative of your long term success.

So, since I doubt anyone reading this is too terribly interested in my (failed) attempts to learn German, let’s instead turn to my (somewhat) failed attempt to make pretzels. 

TA-DA!

Now, if all you can muster is a look of quiet confusion, I understand. After all, aren’t pretzels supposed to look something like this?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Not necessarily. 

Now while my ‘pretzels’ most certainly do not look the part, they do on the other hand hold up quite well on the taste test. You can see on the baked good to the far right on my plate above, with a texture similar to what you would find in a ‘correct’ pretzel.

But, we do walk away from this pretzel baking experience at least a little bit wiser. I made a few substitutions to the recipe to make it dairy free, swapping out cow’s milk for almond milk and regular butter for a vegetable-oil based version. Now I’m far from an experienced baker on the best of days, so choosing to substitute two important ingredients may have been contributors to my rookie mistakes. I also have a sense that the dough was too wet when we started to form the pretzels.

Next time, because there WILL be a next time, I plan to try the following changes:

• Using an oven that we actually know the temperature of 

• Waiting a little longer for the dough to rise

• Creating longer and thinner strings (?) of dough to form the pretzel shapes with

We will post a comparison photo after those are made so that we can compare. As I’ll be baking other things in the meantime, hopefully I’ll learn something and actually get better before I try again though. (If anyone has any beginner baking blogs they love, please leave them in the comments). 

And here’s a photo of my very cute and exceedingly patient husband helping with the preparation. Baking pro tip? If you’re a little on the impatient side (there’s literally nothing that you can do to make things rise faster, by the way), keep someone calm close by and your perfectionist tendencies that make you rush, might just chill for a bit.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I wrote this post and included photos of what many would consider to be a failed attempt at baking. Here are the reasons:

To have a record.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever gotten good at something, but the process has taken so long and been so insidious, that you hardly even remember how it happened? 

I think, if I don’t make a proper effort to record it, baking could qualify for this. I remember looking back on things that I improved on over time and wishing that I had something to show my progress along the way. 

To help myself stay motivated

A bit related to point #1, sometimes when you feel like you’re not going anywhere, it can be helpful to look back and to see how far you’ve come. Having a record of your starting point and the troubles that you’ve overcome to reach the point that you’re at today, can be extremely motivating when you’re taking on a new or difficult task. 

Imagine in a year from now - I could be trying to bake something so complex that I’ve never even heard of it today. And then I’ll be able to look back on my “pretzels”, have a laugh, and realize that I am capable of achieving anything if I just try without fear of failure (and leave enough time to try again). 

To practice and learn 

When I was in university, I figured out that the best way for me to learn something is to write it. I used to spend hours just rewriting my notes across notebooks and computers and the difference between this versus just repeating it in my mind or even reading it, was substantial.

By recording my not-so-successful efforts, I’m thinking a bit deeper into what I could have done differently and what I will do differently in my next pretzel making extravaganza. 

To give myself something to laugh about 

If we can’t laugh at ourselves, what can we laugh about? I remember as I was making these, looking at them on the dough and thinking “ah yes, there’s actually no way that these will work”. Chara looked at them, he looked at me, and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

Previous to that, I had been getting a little internally stressed out about the progress (or lack thereof) of the pretzels. I had lost sight of the fact that it was supposed to be fun. I’m not a professional baker (yet! Ha ha), we made a bunch of changes to the recipe, and we have plenty of other things to eat if these don’t turn out. What’s the stress gonna do? (spoiler alert: nothing).

The point I’m trying to make here is that no-one starts out perfect at anything - especially not something like baking where so much of the process is in the hands of chemistry and your oven. So, enjoy the mistakes. Don’t eat the ones that look undercooked. And relax.

Really. 

I felt myself starting to tighten when the dough didn’t rise perfectly. But I let it go and in the end we had tasty, if a bit ugly, “pretzels”.

And you know what? I’m looking forward to the next time I try and bake. :) 

Which in my mind, is the biggest measure of success.

How to Overcome a Creative Block

Ever been blocked?

Sat staring at a screen, wishing for inspiration?

And then gotten frustrated when it never seemed to arrive?

If you have, you are definitely not the only one. When I started this post, I was planning on making it about something practical, like tools for keyword research, but then I realized that A) there are already a million, very well written blogs on this topic and B) the creative process is something that can be kickstarted at any moment; maybe one of these strategies / ideas / ramblings could be a catalyst.

So, if you’re stuck in a creative rut and don’t know what to write about, let me give you 5 strategies for coming up with new content ideas. 

Read - but strategically.

When you can’t seem to find your own voice, try listening to someone else’s. It doesn’t have to be a book, in fact, if you’re on a deadline, sometimes the worst thing you can read is a book. Why? Because you’ll get stuck reading it and justify it as a reasonable step in the creative process until it becomes too late to procrastinate and you have to just throw something together. 

Need some ideas about what to read instead? Why not try:: 

• Really old magazines

• A random page from that college textbook you still have

• A blog from a totally different side of the internet (so, for me, it would be something like a blog about crafting or maybe foreign exchange trading)

• Your own previous work (pick a confidence booster)

• A newspaper article from a small town on the other side of the world (how about this?: https://www.croatiaweek.com/zadar-wine-festival-2019-to-be-held-in-april/)

Or anything, really. 

A caveat: don’t spend hours searching for the perfect piece of content either. The above is just an example - the point is to get your brain out of the rut and thinking about something totally different. With an entirely different perspective, it’s possible to create a story or find an angle that you didn’t previously see. Setting a timer can be helpful.

Go for a run

But don’t just put your music on or listen to a podcast (not saying you shouldn’t do these things, but there’s a point to this run). Run with a purpose - to return with a clear plan of how you’re going to write, plus a healthy dose of endorphins. 

If you’re writing non-fiction, for marketing projects or other corporate-style pieces, running can be particularly effective if done correctly. Here’s how: when you’re working on a project and you’ve got something that’s blocking you, write it down before you go to sleep. If you’re short on time and need to do it same-day, skip these steps. Be as specific as possible. Go to sleep. 

Wake up, read your notes, drink a glass of water and go run. Or bike. Or swim. Something that requires your cardiovascular output and your heart rate to increase.

Now visualize what the complete version of your project will look like. Write your closing paragraph. Can’t find it? Write ANY paragraph in your mind, keep going until something makes sense and then go home. 

Write it down, quickly. 

Then follow your standard routine and get back to it. I don’t want to make any promises, but this method has helped me through a few rough creative patches and it might just work for you as well. 

And if you’re writing non-fiction? Use your surroundings to create stories and to act as inspiration. Try to imagine the craziest, silliest, or least likely story behind that pharmacy, or the girl with her dog, or the police officer sitting in his patrol car. Or follow the same method as prescribed for non-fiction and see if that gets you past it.

The point is to refresh your brain and give you a strong dose of dopamine.

Go through your old texts / emails / blog posts

Try to find something where your voice is most genuine. Sometimes when finding the words is hard, finding the tone can be easier. Once you have a tone, you can at least start to build an outline and a direction. 

If your voice is hiding, sometimes it just needs a reminder that it’s safe to come out. Seeing other things that you’ve written that normally remain quietly in the background can be both gratifying and centering. Or, depending on the topic, they can take you back to a certain time or feeling. 

Bringing the past into the future isn’t generally advisable, but it can be a good way to get that little bit of inspo necessary to get going. 

Watch foreign films

But with the subtitles left off. Listen to the words and look for their emotions. Create a backstory based only on what you see and your spectrum of experience. Feel the story through the character’s emotions and use those feelings to shape the direction of your work.

This may not be so effective for those in the non-fiction or technical writing side of things as it may just serve as a gateway to procrastination. But if you’ve got the time, a little break from something heavy into something beautiful could be just the reset that a tired brain needs. 

Leave the _______

Office, city, state, country.

The more stuck you are, the further you should go (in my opinion); within reason of course. When you’re extremely blocked, sitting still will only encourage your mind to do the same. Getting out of your normal surroundings forces you to pay attention. To be a little more aware of yourself and what is happening around you. When you’ve got a feedback loop, sometimes that’s exactly what you need - a trigger, something else to pay attention to, in order to break out of the loop. Traveling can be that trigger.

I know it’s not always practical or even possible to leave the country or state on a whim, but when it is, such an opportunity should always be taken. This is because it’s one of the most effective ways to give your brain more options, more ideas, and more space and connections to store them between.

Experiences make for great stories. They lead to analogies that resonate. And the ability to empathize and see from another’s perspective. And if you’re writing the novel of your lifetime, your master’s thesis, or anything else that has taken a part of your soul along the way, sometimes a little time on an airplane is exactly what you need to put it back.

A day’s reflections

These are the things that I can recommend because I’ve tried them and found luck in them. Inspiration comes from the strangest of places sometimes, so trying new things is really the only way to find what works for you.

When I started writing this, I had a block.

I chose to run.

So I ran. For 10 miles. 

And now I can calmly write this and see that on the other side of every block there is lucidity. That clear understanding of what you need to do and how to do it.

If you’re reading this trying to find your own clarity, try something on this list. At the very minimum, you’ll feel refreshed. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find the key to your own writing freedom along the way.